Pray Eat Slay

There’s a quiet kind of confusion that comes when your life looks full on paper, but your heart still feels like something is missing.

Just yesterday I was walking the streets of Prague, taking in the beauty, and really living the moment. I stopped at Café Savoy and had the kind of breakfast that makes you pause mid-bite, a croissant filled with scrambled eggs, cheese and black truffle, a mimosa or two on the side, their rich Savoy hot chocolate, and a slice of carrot cake. Yum. Prague truly redeemed itself from the last time I went.

And in those moments, I felt full. Not just from the food, but from the experience. From choosing myself.

But today looks different.

Today I’m curled up on my Havertys couch, watching Harlem on Prime Video, and there’s this quiet voice in the back of my mind asking, “Why hasn’t love found me yet?”

And that question hits differently when you know you’re not sitting still in life.

I’m not waiting around.

I’m building.

I’m showing up every day as the best version of myself I know how to be.

A present mother.

A committed soldier.

A daughter who shows up.

A woman who is actively trying to grow, heal, and do things right.

I’ve even been pouring into myself in small ways, like getting lost in books like Alchemised, Lore of the Tides, Rich and Rotten, and Capri. My taste is all over the place, I know. But maybe that’s the point. I’m exploring. Feeling. Expanding.

Still… real, true love is something I yearn for.

And maybe that’s the part that makes this season hard.

Because I’m not willing to settle.

Not for attention.

Not for potential.

Not for someone who requires me to shrink just to make things work.

But there are moments like today, where I sit here and wonder if my standards are the very thing keeping me alone. If maybe I’m doing something wrong. If maybe I’m missing something everyone else seems to have figured out.

And that feeling? It doesn’t make me weak. It makes me human.

Because the truth is, you can be thriving in so many areas of your life and still desire love. You can be grateful for your life and still feel a little empty sometimes. Both things can exist at the same time.

I’m learning that this space I’m in isn’t failure.

It’s alignment.

It’s choosing not to rush something that’s meant to be right. It’s trusting that just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t. It’s understanding that the same discipline I apply to being a mother, a soldier, and a woman building her life… also applies to love.

Not forcing it.

Not chasing it.

Not lowering myself to find it.

Just continuing to become.

So today might feel a little heavier than yesterday.

But it doesn’t take away from everything I am or everything I’m building.

Love hasn’t missed me.

It just hasn’t met me yet.